Giving Up
by AnagramRCA
Summary: How long can a broken heart possible last? She is sitting now, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her arms wrapped around her knees. Her sobs are quiet if she chews her lip and she guesses this is how it feels when you give up.


RCA: My life is going kind of poorly right now and writing always makes me feel better. I woke up from a restless sleep this morning to find my laptop still on. And from a nightmare, this happened to emerge…. I reread it to proof it and it didn't make me feel any better. So I'm posting now and a few hopeful comments would really perk my life up…. Have a good evening.

There she sat, tears running down her face in uneven lines and her lower lips quivering. It was always, and would always be, her fault. She loved him with all her heart, her soul and her mind. She knew she did. But why did this always happen? Some gossip would set him off and, even though he didn't say it, it was her fault. They broke up constantly, but were never together in the first place. It was more or less them falling in and out of love one too many times.

But what is love…? To them, it was:

Lying together in his bed, cuddled up in the silence.

Her falling asleep in his arms when he was doing his homework one-handed.

Him playing the guitar and teaching her how the chords went.

Her writing elegant short stories about two mystery lovers.

Him pushing hair out of her face.

Her waiting at the end of the hall, a note in one hand and her other curled around her notebooks.

Him hugging her around the waist.

Her lips on his, making her heart race.

His hand causing goose-bumps on her back.

Then there were the things that broke this "love" apart….

Gossip, rumors, another guy or girl, or the stray thought of a different life for either of them. Excuses such that of homework, exhaustion, or needing to be apart.

Sometimes she thought he was the one, and when that happened, and one thing led to another, he was the one to break it off.

They would talk privately when a break-up would occur. Nobody would be able to hear them, but everyone could tell what was going on. Her eyes would get swollen and red, and his face would be white. He would try and touch her arm or face, and she would back away. Her forehead would wrinkle up in the battle to fight tears off, but she would lose. And when he would finally say it, she would turn away proudly. Walk away. Quietly crying.

He would stand there, his eyes beginning to swell, and turn away from where she was walking. Walk opposite her. Holding his head high. Not crying but obviously fighting it.

One day, he just gives up….

"Look, no more." He tells her silently. Her eyes aren't as swollen this time around until this line. Her lip begin to quiver. The eyes begin to turn red. She knew this would be it…for a time at least.

"No more for a while. Just a break would be good…see other people." She mutters, crossing her arms over her breast. He gives a soft, out-of-sorts smile and avoids her eyes.

"No more Gin…. I'm sick of this pattern we've fallen into. Of us lying, cheating and hurting each other. I'm tired of having to worry about you and your multitude of guy friends. This is difficult for me to say, and I've been planning this speech for at least a week…." He pauses. Her arms slowly drop to her side. This speech was new, and it made her chest feel compressed. Her eyes widen at the realization of what he is trying to say. He shuts his lips and shoves his fists deep into his pockets. Her fingers twirled together in front of her hips and she rocks on her heels. Awkward air surrounds them, and her shallow breath turned into gasps. He pulls his right hand out of his pocket and wipes away tears she doesn't realize are falling. Her face gets hot as his fingers kept brushing up and down on her face, and she jerks her chin away from his hand. He shoves his hand back in his pocket and takes a step closer to her.

"Damn it, just say it Draco. We're both mature sixth and seventh years, and I'm sure whatever you say I can handle." She says defensively. She takes a tiny step back, and avoids his eyes.

"I give up Ginny. Like I said, I'm tired of having to fight for you. Please understand that I love you very much with all of my heart and all of my soul. I would die for you. There was once a time when I honestly thought you were my soul mate…. When I wanted to wake up next to you every morning and touch your stomach when you carry my children. Then thoughts cross my mind on how you would change, and when you wouldn't be there when I woke up. And if it wasn't my child that would grow inside you. Sick little perversions that would peep into my mind. God, I didn't want to believe them, but, Ginny, the three years I've known you, there's always been someone I had to fight with for you. I can't do it anymore. I want to be with you, but I just can't. In order to save myself, I'm stopping this. I love you, Ginerva Molly Weasley. Goodbye, forever this time." Draco leans over slowly, kissed her nose, and walks away. Her mouth drops open, gasps come out, and she sobs. A broken heart could hurt, yes, but it was the memories, which now fell over her in painfully sweet waves, that kill.

She is sitting now, her knees pulled up to her chest, and her arms wrapped around her knees. Her sobs are quiet if she chews her lip, but deep in the little nook they usually snuck off to, nobody notices her. Everyone notices the break-up, but pays no heed to the aftermath. Ginny doesn't know how long she sits there and cries. Even after the tears and gasping has stopped, she rocks back and forth and watches the students and occasional teacher pass by. She is shocked on how people ignore her. Even more shocked on how long she sits there, watching the legs disappear and appear again for class after class. The lights grow brighter as the world outside grows dimmer.

She guesses this is how it feels when you give up. Emotionless, cold, not caring about the world…. She guesses this as she leans against the wall, her eye burning and her heart broken. The hour glass down the hall rings out once, signaling one in the morning.

How long can a broken heart possible last?

RCA: Any sorts of comments would be helpful…and yes, it does switch from past to present times because that's how it's supposed to be : ) Have a great night! Better than mine at least….


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